#and damian just...

[ehliena]

I'm not gonna try to math Dick's age when he started Nightwing anymore. Bc in the Teen Titans issue where he visits Jason's grave, he said he was Robin for almost 12 years. Given that he lost his parents at 9, he would have still been Robin at 20-21. But he moved out at 18 and "quit" at that time which led to Jason being Robin at 13 then died at 15.

Making Tim at most 3 years old when he saw Dick at the circus.

[mossing-around]

You know those posts about one of Bruce’s kids getting kidnapped and him having no idea which kid they have based on the vague descriptions he’s given? Well now I can’t only imagine Bruce getting the dreaded call and immediately pulling out a guess who board filled entirely with his kids. Like

kidnapper: we have one of your children

Bruce: I have so many of those you need to be more specific

kidnapper: the loud and annoying one

Bruce, flipping down Cass and Duke: that does not help as much as you think it does

kidnapper: well he has black hair?

Bruce, flips down Steph: keep going

kidnapper: uhhhh? He’s short?

Bruce, flips down Dick and Jason leaving Tim and Damian: more specific

kidnapper: he’s been condescending and judgmental since we got him

Bruce: yeah they both tend to do that

kidnapper: he keeps throwing around words I don’t understand

Bruce, realizing that Damian and Tim are significantly more similar than he thought: uhh more specific?

kidnapper: more?? look just wore us the mon— WHERE’D HE HIDE A KATANA???

Bruce: ah you have Damian

[noodles-and-tea]

Some robins designs so they’re not just “kid with a mask and curtain bangs”

[massivetittiesandwarcrimes]

I think more people need to play around with Damian's speech. Don't get me wrong, I love the antiquated Victorian child style of speech, but also he's a teenager that swears plenty in the comics. We really need more scenes like:

Damian: Father, I regret to inform you that I have been assigned in-school suspension for the next three days.

Bruce: What, why?!

Damian: My classmate Kevin was disparaging a female classmate for turning him down, so I called him 'a rizz-less, basic-ass neckbeard bitch' and said I was going to fuck his mom and give her a son she'd actually love.

Bruce: *is completely speechless*

Damian: That is all I needed to tell you. If you will excuse me, I have homework to complete before dinner and patrol.

[lili-home-to-embraces-and-hugs]

The Batkids play a game called “Guess Who Bruce Is Disappointed In Today” and it is a bloodsport.

It started as a joke. It is no longer a joke.

Every morning, without fail, one of them walks into the kitchen and says:

“Guess who Bruce is disappointed in today?”

And they all take turns guessing based on crime alerts, nightly patrol rotations, and vibes.

It’s become a system.

It went like:

Jason: “I knocked out a senator by accident. My odds are high.”

Tim: “I drank seventeen Red Bulls and fell asleep on top of the Batcomputer.”

Damian: “I released three bats into Gotham General Hospital as enrichment. They were bored.”

Steph: “I called him ‘Brucie’ in front of a senator.”

Cass: Just raises a finger and shrugs.

Then Bruce walks in, dead silent, pours his coffee, looks at no one, and walks away.

Tim: “It’s Jason.”

Jason: “DAMN IT.

Rules:

If you guess wrong, you have to do patrol with Damian and listen to him rant about the superiority of traditional swordsmanship for two hours.

If you guess right, you get to choose the movie on family movie night.

If Bruce is disappointed in himself, everyone gets ice cream. That’s the law.

It got so serious they made a whiteboard. Labeled it: “DISAPPOINTMENT LEADERBOARD.”

Top scores:

Tim (17 correct guesses, possible mind reader)

Cass (14, reads vibes better than Google Translate reads Latin)

Steph (11, mostly via chaos intuition)

Jason (2. constantly thinks it’s him. It often is. But not always.)

Damian (0. refuses to acknowledge he is ever the cause)

One time Dick guessed correctly for the first time in 3 months and everyone clapped.

He cried.

Alt. Version: Guess Who Bruce Is Proud Of Today.

Game cancelled due to lack of data.

[singswan-springswan]

In a happy world where Jason is legally resurrected and gets to go to college like he's always dreamed of

[doc-anders]

Bruce: Na na na na na na na na, Bat-on…

[gothamitee]

What will you be tonight? That’s the question

[ideas-ideasideasideas]

Batman gives each of his Robins a different code to use when they’re in trouble and need immediate extraction. He promises that when they call, he’ll drop everything just to get to them, come hell or high water.

Jason, during his time with the League, shares his code with Damian, to be used “only in the direst of circumstances, when you have exhausted all other options.” He doesn’t know if Bruce will answer, given how fractured their relationship was before he died, but it is better than nothing. Every tool counts when they live such dangerous lives.

Damian uses it exactly once, and Bruce, who still feels the loss of his son like a yawning chasm in his chest, responds to it even though he knows it can’t be Jason because Jason’s dead. What he finds, instead of Jason, is a boy in League garbs, drenched in blood from the tips of his midnight-black hair to his too-small feet, with a face that Bruce sees himself and Talia in, requesting asylum from a grandfather who wishes to possess his body. Bruce doesn’t question how this boy who is so clearly his son knew the code. Talia al Ghul is resourceful and places family above all; the code is not beyond her abilities to discover, and she is not above using Bruce’s desperate love for his dead son to ensure that hers does not meet the same fate.

Bruce takes Damian in, because of course he does, and since Jason is dead he allows Damian to keep using the code. After all, it’s not like Jason is alive to use it, right? If someone uses the code, there’s no one it could be but Damian, right?

The next time the code is used, Bruce traces the location to Gotham even though Damian was supposed to be in Bludhaven visiting Dick. But whatever happened that resulted in Damian being in Gotham can wait, because he has already failed one son and he will not fail another, his son is in trouble and he needs to get to him, he needs to—

What he finds, instead of Damian, is a boy (just eighteen, too young, but also too old, but also he will always be a boy to him) in League garbs, drenched in blood from the tips of his midnight-black hair to his too-large feet (when had he gotten so big), wearing the face of his dead son.

(Who, maybe, just maybe, may no longer be so dead.)

[abcdfghjklmpqrobin]

Can you imagine if the reason why Damian thought Bruce would be taller is because of Jason Built-like-a-tank Todd...

Damian is this kid training in the league and one day sees this absolute monster of a man just walking around.

Two hundred twenty-something pounds of muscle, a towering six feet AND some... Damian is used to having to look up to see people in the eyes. This guy could be crouching down, and they still wouldn't be at eye level.

Like mathematically, pythagorically, Damian has to be at 2 ft of distance or Jason is not seeing his ass. His mother says "He's still got some growing up to do" and Damian is like "More??!"

And well, if that tree in disguise was Robin, then naturally Batman must be like at least a head taller. Right?

Cut to show day, Damian has this image of Todd in his mind, distorted by time and the perception of a kid. And he's comparing that to Bruce, genuinely confused, like "Where's the rest of ya?".

[n0tsketchyy]

Headcanon that Jason goes to his grave to relax and absolutely scares the shit out of people

———

Dick: approaching Jason's headstone with flowers, and teary eyes "Hey Little Wing... I know we argued yesterday, and I—I just needed to come here like I used to. Sometimes I forget you're actually back."

The ground shifts slightly beneath him. Dick freezes.

Jason: casually pushing open his coffin lid and sitting up with bed hair and a stifled yawn "Could you keep it down? Some of us are trying to rest in peace here."

Dick: jumps backward, tripping over a nearby headstone and falling flat on his back. His scream echoes through the cemetery. "HOLY SHIT! WHAT THE ACTUAL—" clutches his chest "JASON?!"

Jason: stretching "Who were you expecting? The Joker?"

Dick: scrambling to his feet, voice cracking "WHY WERE YOU IN YOUR GRAVE?!"

Jason: climbing out and brushing dirt off his jacket "It's the only place in this godforsaken city where I can get some peace and quiet. Alfred's always cleaning at the manor, Tim's typing is incessant, and Damian—" shudders dramatically, "—exists loudly." gestures to the coffin "Memory foam. Added it last month."

Dick: still hyperventilating "That's... that's the most morbid thing I've ever heard."

Jason: shrugging "Says the guy who talks to my headstone when I'm not dead."

Dick: after a long pause "...Does Alfred know about this?"

Jason: "Who do you think brings me sandwiches?"

[demonicsuffrage]

[fanaticalthings]

Bruce Wayne except he texts like an ominous boomer

wdym you can't tell if he's threatening them?

Based on this post by @mysterycitrus :)

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Bonus:

Happy birthday, Tim 🥰

[sarahcmarie]

Do you think the rouges think there is a new Robin every time they change something about themselves because honestly the robins all look pretty similar so the only way to tell was in the style choices

They know Batman gets a new Robin occasionally but they don’t know when which leads to them thinking that Batman got a new sidekick after like a hair cut or a suit change

Riddler: oh I see Batman got a new Robin needed the newer version hm?

Tim drake got a hair cut: (gets punched when he pauses in confusion)

Tim in the midst of puberty and his voice got deeper: stop right there joker

Joker: ooh a new bird to kill how fun I should get my crow bar polished

Harley and ivy robing a bank just as Damian shows up

Harley: ok this is getting ridiculous we need to have a intervention for you batsy there is no way you can give your children enough emotional support and attention if you adopt a new one once a month

Damian who redesigned his suit: wha-

Batman pinching the bridge of his nose: same kid Harley

Ivy: are you sure about that

Harley: yea are ya sure you didn’t adopt one without realizing it batsy?

Batman glances at Damian unsure:

Damian: Father!

[prlssprfctn]

Give me Bruce and Jason, who are not on the war path anymore, but they are still awkward and absolutely clueless on how to make things up, so they pretend that they need something from each other in order to spend some time together. Even if these things are absolutely simple, and both of them could handle it themselves, if they wanted to.

Bruce, calling Jason in the random Friday night: So, Alfred left for a week. And I promised kids to do a homemade cake for them. And you know how useless I am in the kitchen. So.

Jason, who knows that Bruce is, in fact, not useless in the kitchen, but low-key misses cooking with him, because the last time they did it, it was Alfred's birthday before his death, and they did the cake together: Theoretically, I agree.

Bruce, sighing in relief: Theoretically, I will need you in Manor tomorrow in the morning. And I theoretically will pay for that.

Jason: Theoretically, see you tomorrow.

Bruce: Theoretically, thank you.

Jason, dealing Bruce in the middle of the night: Old man. Bail me out of the prison. I am in CGDP's building.

Bruce, knowing well that Jason wouldn't be caught in the first place, if he didn't want all of this to happen, and even if he did, he would easily escape without him, getting involved, but also knowing that today is anniversary of the day Bruce adopted Jason, and it is his way to spend time together: ...Okay. May I ask what did you do?

Jason: ...Stole Gordon's tires.

Bruce, stifling his laughter: I see. I will be here in a few minutes.

[dickgraysonmybeloved]

Bruce, High on pain killers: I hate to tell you this, but one of you is adopted

The Batfam: …

Dick: .. only one?